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Vintage with hat

December 2016

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December 4th, 2016

Vintage with hat


This is TMI, but I need to get it out. I have no women friends my age out here that I see regularly. The only guy who might possibly see this is McCormick - McCormick, you may not want to read this.

Peri-menapause, it is a joy!
Yesterday, I got my period, 42 days since my last one. (no chance of pregnancy, so I wasn't worried about that) I am glad I got it because I was afraid it would wait until Christmas! But, it is board week at work and it will be a fucking pain.
When we were in London, I had a hell period. I was bleeding like a stuck pig and I bled for 10 days. My "usual" periods have been bleed with any significance (light) for 3 days, and much lighter for maybe 3 more days. I haven't even used a tampon in YEARS because I just do not bleed enough. But that changed in London. Thank god I had dark colored pants! It was horrible. In London I had to stop every bloody hour to find a bathroom (I especially remember the one in St. Paul's cathedral as being roasting hot) And I felt like I was 12 years old again, bumbling with something that every woman should have the hang of. I was on depo proverb for years and I stopped having a period. It was glorious! But it feels strange now, to have to buy "feminine products". They have change a bit!

Tampons are awkward again - feels like sitting on a wad of cotton shoved up my twat! (sorry, but that is the best way to describe it) I know I will get used to them again, but until then, it just adds to the miserable feeling.
And, this is a small thing, but the RED blood is a bit disturbing. And it is BRIGHT RED. Like I am hemorrhaging somewhere. I am usually not weirded out by the sight of my period, but the brightness of the color is alarming, feels almost instinctual, you know?
I know this is all normal - I have read Our Bodies, Ourselves (though I do need to pick up a new edition - mine is from a college class) but it is still is a pain. I ache, I bleed. I woke up at 7:30 this morning (a Sunday!) because I could feel a large flow. At least I didn't ruin the sheets!
I need to see an OBGYN, however, I have NO leave right now. I used everything I had when John was in the hospital. I must save 8 hours of vacation to use the week between Xmas and New Years (work is closed that week and everyone must use one day of vacation). I am already doing PT twice a week and making up that time. The biggest pain about working in DC is taking time off for a doctor's appointment, I can't just take a little time off, and get back to the office. I have to be able to work the train schedule. There is NO parking near my office, so I can't even bit the bullet and drive. I don't want to see a DC doctor in case I ever need a procedure that requires John to drive me home...
So, until I have some leave, I suffer. And bleed. And do copious amounts of laundry. And visit the bathroom every fucking hour. And sometimes even cramp up a little.
Fuck, why is this necessary? Why does the body have to torture us? Just fucking stop the periods!